Sunday, August 30, 2009
Nobodies Perfect
She Had A Short Haircut Like Rihanna Or Halle In Boomarang.
Nice Light Brown Complexion.
I Passed Her Up & Walked Into The Theater.
She Turned Came Went In The Same Direction.
So I Held The Door Open.
I Went About My Way.
The Guy Said "Theater #3 To Your Left"
I Went & Got My Popcorn.
Then Went To My Movie.
20 Mins. Into The Movie My Mouth Was Dry.
I Went And Got A Soda.
I Drank It All.
30 Mins Later I Had To Use The Bathroom.
I Walk In, Use It.
I'm Washin My Hands.
Then Suddenly, A Pair Of Hands Cover My Eyes.
Then I Turn Around And She Pushes Me Into The Stall.
I Opened My Mouth To Speak, And She Put Her Finger Over My Lips.
She Pushed Me Against The Wall.
I Said "I Can't Do This, I Got A Girl".
She Said "She'll Never Know".
I Said "I Know But This Guilty Feelin Will Just Grow".
She Said "This Will Only Be Between Me And You""I Promise I Won't Tell".
Me Knowing If I Did, And She Found Out.It Would For Sure Be Hell
My Mind Told Me To Stop.
Other Parts, Couldn't Resist Temptation.
She Turned Around On Me.
And Started Grindin Her Body Against Mine, While I Was On The Wall.
Which It Made It That Much Harder [Literally].
While Grindin, She Took Her Top Off.
She Had Tatts Of Stars Goin Down Her Neck, On Down Her Back.
Then She Bent Over And Pulled Her Pants & Her Thong Off.
She Had A Tatt On Her Lower Back That Said "Cali's Finest" In Real Fancy Letters.
And Another On Her Ass That Said "Hit It Like A Champ" W/ Boxing Gloves Hangin Under.
It Was Then I Knew It Was Now Or Never.
So I Walked Toward The Stall Door And Opened It.
She Pushed Me Against It,And Started Kissin My Neck & I Got The Chills.
She Said "Don't Leave Daddy".
As She Bit My Lip.
I Said "I Have To Go".
She Said With An Innocent Face "U Gonna Leave Me Here Like This?"
As She Reached In 2 My Pants.
All Morals And Values,Went Bye When She Wrapped Her Lips Around And Blew Em Off.
Then It Happened!
When I Said I Wanted In & Out, This Isn't What I Had In Mind.
But I Couldn't Complain.
I Had Her Against The Door, While She Was Facin It, With My Hand Coverin Her Mouth.
Yet She Still Managed To Make Noise.
So We Did What We Did, And Lost A Few Calories Doin It.
I Said "Babe I Gotta Go".
She Said "No Baby, I've Never Orgasmed Before, This Is A 1st To Me".
I Said "No Forreal I Gotta Go Babe.I'm Late. Its Me & My Girls Anniversary".
She Started To Frown.
She Looked Really Sad.
And I Said "Don't Worry I'll See U Soon".
Knowin It Was A Lie Cuz I Didn't Even Have Her #, I Just Met Her At Noon.
So I Left And Met Up Wit My Girl At The Restaurant.
Nice Light Brown Complexion.
I Passed Her Up & Walked Into The Theater.
She Turned Came Went In The Same Direction.
So I Held The Door Open.
I Went About My Way.
The Guy Said "Theater #3 To Your Left"
I Went & Got My Popcorn.
Then Went To My Movie.
20 Mins. Into The Movie My Mouth Was Dry.
I Went And Got A Soda.
I Drank It All.
30 Mins Later I Had To Use The Bathroom.
I Walk In, Use It.
I'm Washin My Hands.
Then Suddenly, A Pair Of Hands Cover My Eyes.
Then I Turn Around And She Pushes Me Into The Stall.
I Opened My Mouth To Speak, And She Put Her Finger Over My Lips.
She Pushed Me Against The Wall.
I Said "I Can't Do This, I Got A Girl".
She Said "She'll Never Know".
I Said "I Know But This Guilty Feelin Will Just Grow".
She Said "This Will Only Be Between Me And You""I Promise I Won't Tell".
Me Knowing If I Did, And She Found Out.It Would For Sure Be Hell
My Mind Told Me To Stop.
Other Parts, Couldn't Resist Temptation.
She Turned Around On Me.
And Started Grindin Her Body Against Mine, While I Was On The Wall.
Which It Made It That Much Harder [Literally].
While Grindin, She Took Her Top Off.
She Had Tatts Of Stars Goin Down Her Neck, On Down Her Back.
Then She Bent Over And Pulled Her Pants & Her Thong Off.
She Had A Tatt On Her Lower Back That Said "Cali's Finest" In Real Fancy Letters.
And Another On Her Ass That Said "Hit It Like A Champ" W/ Boxing Gloves Hangin Under.
It Was Then I Knew It Was Now Or Never.
So I Walked Toward The Stall Door And Opened It.
She Pushed Me Against It,And Started Kissin My Neck & I Got The Chills.
She Said "Don't Leave Daddy".
As She Bit My Lip.
I Said "I Have To Go".
She Said With An Innocent Face "U Gonna Leave Me Here Like This?"
As She Reached In 2 My Pants.
All Morals And Values,Went Bye When She Wrapped Her Lips Around And Blew Em Off.
Then It Happened!
When I Said I Wanted In & Out, This Isn't What I Had In Mind.
But I Couldn't Complain.
I Had Her Against The Door, While She Was Facin It, With My Hand Coverin Her Mouth.
Yet She Still Managed To Make Noise.
So We Did What We Did, And Lost A Few Calories Doin It.
I Said "Babe I Gotta Go".
She Said "No Baby, I've Never Orgasmed Before, This Is A 1st To Me".
I Said "No Forreal I Gotta Go Babe.I'm Late. Its Me & My Girls Anniversary".
She Started To Frown.
She Looked Really Sad.
And I Said "Don't Worry I'll See U Soon".
Knowin It Was A Lie Cuz I Didn't Even Have Her #, I Just Met Her At Noon.
So I Left And Met Up Wit My Girl At The Restaurant.
So There I Am Wit My Girl.
I Said "Hey Baby, Happy Anniversary!"
She Was Wearing A Smile That Lit Up The Room.
She Said "I'm So Happy We've Mad It This Long"
I Said "Me Too. I Love You So Much Baby, You Mean The World To Me".
She Just Smiled With A Look On Her Face As If She Had Not A Worry In The World.
So The Waiter Comes Up
And Of Course, I Must Have Been Dreamin Or High.
Cuz Who Could It Be?...
None Other Then The Girl I Had Just Fucked In The Theater 20 Mins. Before.
She Said "Are You Guys Ready To Order?"
Wit The Most Evil Smile On Her Face.
My Gut Dropped.
So We Ordered.
She Said "I'll Be Right Back Wit Ur Order".
& Walked Away.
So I Went To The Bathroom, To Throw Some Water On My Face.
Cuz I Knew This Had To Be A Nightmare.
So I Came Out & There She Is Talkin To My Girl.
But By The Time I Got To The Table She Had Already Gone.
I Asked My Girl " What Where U Guys Talkin Bout?"
She Said "Oh She Just Said I Was Real Pretty & How Lucky I Was To Have Such A Great Boyfriend Like You. & How She Wanted To Get Into Modeling, But She Didn't Have A Photographer.And Guess What...I Gave Her Your # Baby. Since U Do Photography And She Needs Head Shots... See Baby I'm Always Lookin Out For You".
As She Smiled.
Not Knowin I Already Gave Her "Headshots".
All The Sudden...My Pocket Vibrates.
I Pulled Out My Out My Phone, It Said "Hey Daddy".
I Wrote Back "U Can't Text Me Right Now, I'm Wit My Girl".
She Replied "Oh She Won't Mind, After All She Was The One Who Gave It To Me".
So I Said "Baby Lets Get This Food To Go, I Forgot I Have A Present To Give You @ Home".
She Said "Aww Baby, Ur Sweet,She's Right I Really Do Have The Best Boyfriend In The World, Well Make Sure U Leave The Waitress A Good Tip, She's Really Nice".
I Laughed "Huh".
Thinkin "Givin Her A Tip,Was How I Got In This Situation In 1st Place".
So We Left And Went Back To The House.
And I Gave Her, Her Present.
Then She Gave Me Mine.
It Was A New IPhone.
I Was Like Koo, I'll Have To Change My # Again.
So She Won't Be Able To Hit Me Up Anyway.
So I Changed It The Next Day.
& For The Next Few Days I Slept Soo Good.
Knowing That Girl No Longer Had N E Form Of Contact 2 Me.
Til.
My Girl Walks In The Door & Says "Ok So I Setup A Shoot For The Waitress From The Restaurant.
My Girl Was A Full Time Student.
But Also My Assistant On The Side.
She Setup All My Appointments, And Actually Was The Reason For Most Of My Clients.
I Said "What?"
As The Door Bell Rang.
She Said "Yea We Exchanged Numbers, I Gave Her Mine And Urs. I Called Her And Set It Up. Cuz I Remembered She Didn't Have Your New Number".
In My Mind I'm Thinkin "Nooooo".
Then...
She Walked In.
My Girl Said "Babe I'm Not Gonna Be Able To Stay, I Have To Study For My Exam, So I'll Call U Later To See How Things Are Goin K? Love U."
As She Kissed Me & Rushed Out The Door.
Then She Pulled Off.
So Then It Was Just Me And "Her".
She Dropped Her Louie V. Purse Down On The
Couch.
She Said "This Is A Nice Place You Guys Have".
As She Held A Picture Of Me And My Girl That Was On The Shelf.
I Said, "Look. We Can't Do This No More"
She Said "Whats Wrong?I Just Wanted To See You 1 Last Time".
I Hung My Head..
She Said "If You Just Do What I Want, Your Girl Will Never Find Out""& If You Don't, Well..., It'd Just Be Better If You Did".
I Knew I Had Dug Myself In A Hole, & This Situation Just Made Me Continue To Dig.
I Said "Ok I'll Do Whatever, Just Make This Quick".
Cuz The Thought Of This Situation Was Makin Me Sick.
I Said "Well If I'm Gonna Do This. Imma Need A Drink".
So I Drank Til I Was Drunk.
Then We Got On The Bed And Slowly Start To Hump.
She Said "Remember This Baby. Doesn't It Feel Good".
I Said "Hell Yea".
She Was Like "I'm Doin This For Your Own Good"
I Was Thinkin "Huh?"
Then I Heard The Phone Ring.
I Must Have Been Drunk Cuz I Picked It Up.
Then I Heard A Girls Voice Say "Baby I'm Almost Home"
I Said "Yep. Fasho" And Just Hung Up.
Not Even Realizing It Was My Girl About To Pull Up.
For Some Reason I Was Startin To Lose My Buzz.
Right Then I Heard Keys Jinglin..
Sure Enough.
My Girl Walks In.
She Drops Her Books,
& Screams "WTF!".
I'm So Gone, Not Even Realizin She's There So I Keep Goin.
So She Slams The Door.
Then I Realize She Is There.
I Get Up, And So Does The Girl.
And Say, "Hey".
She Says "Omg.How The Fuck Could You Do This To Me. Knowin I've Been Stressin Over School, And Bills, And I've Been Sick Lately".
"How Could You? I HATE YOU!".
Just As I Was About To Apologize, The Phone rang And Went To The Answerin Machine.
It Was The Doctor.
He Said "Hello Mrs. ******, I Have Your Paper Work, And The Reason While You've Been Havin Stomach Pains Is Because Your Pregnant".
Both Of Our Eyes Popped Wide Open.
She Covers Her Mouth With Her Hands As Tears Start To Fall.
Knowin What Was About To Come Next..
I Said "What The Fuck?Pregnant?"
I Had This Reaction Because When We 1st Got Together My Girl Said She Wanted
To Wait Til We Got Married To Have Sex.
So For The Whole 2 Years.
That's How It Was.
I Didn't Have Sex With N E One Til This Girl From The Movies.
She Said "Baby I'm Sorry".
And She Tried To Hug Me.
I Said "No Bitch Get Off Me, What The Fuck.So How Long Has This Been Goin On?How Long You Been Fuckin This Other Dude?"
As She Cried, She Said "A Year"
I Said "You Been Fuckin Some Dude For A Whole Year,And He Got You Pregnant? And We Have Never Fucked Once".
I Mean The Day @ The Movies Got The Best Of Me.
And I Didn't Plan On Doin Her Wrong Again.
But I Never Imagined All This.
Right Then The Other Started To Speak.
She Said "I Told U Boo. I Knew This The Whole Time".
Cause Dude She Was Cheatin Wit The Whole Time Was Mine..
Slowly The Pieces Of The Puzzle Started To Come Together..
I Said "Hey Baby, Happy Anniversary!"
She Was Wearing A Smile That Lit Up The Room.
She Said "I'm So Happy We've Mad It This Long"
I Said "Me Too. I Love You So Much Baby, You Mean The World To Me".
She Just Smiled With A Look On Her Face As If She Had Not A Worry In The World.
So The Waiter Comes Up
And Of Course, I Must Have Been Dreamin Or High.
Cuz Who Could It Be?...
None Other Then The Girl I Had Just Fucked In The Theater 20 Mins. Before.
She Said "Are You Guys Ready To Order?"
Wit The Most Evil Smile On Her Face.
My Gut Dropped.
So We Ordered.
She Said "I'll Be Right Back Wit Ur Order".
& Walked Away.
So I Went To The Bathroom, To Throw Some Water On My Face.
Cuz I Knew This Had To Be A Nightmare.
So I Came Out & There She Is Talkin To My Girl.
But By The Time I Got To The Table She Had Already Gone.
I Asked My Girl " What Where U Guys Talkin Bout?"
She Said "Oh She Just Said I Was Real Pretty & How Lucky I Was To Have Such A Great Boyfriend Like You. & How She Wanted To Get Into Modeling, But She Didn't Have A Photographer.And Guess What...I Gave Her Your # Baby. Since U Do Photography And She Needs Head Shots... See Baby I'm Always Lookin Out For You".
As She Smiled.
Not Knowin I Already Gave Her "Headshots".
All The Sudden...My Pocket Vibrates.
I Pulled Out My Out My Phone, It Said "Hey Daddy".
I Wrote Back "U Can't Text Me Right Now, I'm Wit My Girl".
She Replied "Oh She Won't Mind, After All She Was The One Who Gave It To Me".
So I Said "Baby Lets Get This Food To Go, I Forgot I Have A Present To Give You @ Home".
She Said "Aww Baby, Ur Sweet,She's Right I Really Do Have The Best Boyfriend In The World, Well Make Sure U Leave The Waitress A Good Tip, She's Really Nice".
I Laughed "Huh".
Thinkin "Givin Her A Tip,Was How I Got In This Situation In 1st Place".
So We Left And Went Back To The House.
And I Gave Her, Her Present.
Then She Gave Me Mine.
It Was A New IPhone.
I Was Like Koo, I'll Have To Change My # Again.
So She Won't Be Able To Hit Me Up Anyway.
So I Changed It The Next Day.
& For The Next Few Days I Slept Soo Good.
Knowing That Girl No Longer Had N E Form Of Contact 2 Me.
Til.
My Girl Walks In The Door & Says "Ok So I Setup A Shoot For The Waitress From The Restaurant.
My Girl Was A Full Time Student.
But Also My Assistant On The Side.
She Setup All My Appointments, And Actually Was The Reason For Most Of My Clients.
I Said "What?"
As The Door Bell Rang.
She Said "Yea We Exchanged Numbers, I Gave Her Mine And Urs. I Called Her And Set It Up. Cuz I Remembered She Didn't Have Your New Number".
In My Mind I'm Thinkin "Nooooo".
Then...
She Walked In.
My Girl Said "Babe I'm Not Gonna Be Able To Stay, I Have To Study For My Exam, So I'll Call U Later To See How Things Are Goin K? Love U."
As She Kissed Me & Rushed Out The Door.
Then She Pulled Off.
So Then It Was Just Me And "Her".
She Dropped Her Louie V. Purse Down On The
Couch.
She Said "This Is A Nice Place You Guys Have".
As She Held A Picture Of Me And My Girl That Was On The Shelf.
I Said, "Look. We Can't Do This No More"
She Said "Whats Wrong?I Just Wanted To See You 1 Last Time".
I Hung My Head..
She Said "If You Just Do What I Want, Your Girl Will Never Find Out""& If You Don't, Well..., It'd Just Be Better If You Did".
I Knew I Had Dug Myself In A Hole, & This Situation Just Made Me Continue To Dig.
I Said "Ok I'll Do Whatever, Just Make This Quick".
Cuz The Thought Of This Situation Was Makin Me Sick.
I Said "Well If I'm Gonna Do This. Imma Need A Drink".
So I Drank Til I Was Drunk.
Then We Got On The Bed And Slowly Start To Hump.
She Said "Remember This Baby. Doesn't It Feel Good".
I Said "Hell Yea".
She Was Like "I'm Doin This For Your Own Good"
I Was Thinkin "Huh?"
Then I Heard The Phone Ring.
I Must Have Been Drunk Cuz I Picked It Up.
Then I Heard A Girls Voice Say "Baby I'm Almost Home"
I Said "Yep. Fasho" And Just Hung Up.
Not Even Realizing It Was My Girl About To Pull Up.
For Some Reason I Was Startin To Lose My Buzz.
Right Then I Heard Keys Jinglin..
Sure Enough.
My Girl Walks In.
She Drops Her Books,
& Screams "WTF!".
I'm So Gone, Not Even Realizin She's There So I Keep Goin.
So She Slams The Door.
Then I Realize She Is There.
I Get Up, And So Does The Girl.
And Say, "Hey".
She Says "Omg.How The Fuck Could You Do This To Me. Knowin I've Been Stressin Over School, And Bills, And I've Been Sick Lately".
"How Could You? I HATE YOU!".
Just As I Was About To Apologize, The Phone rang And Went To The Answerin Machine.
It Was The Doctor.
He Said "Hello Mrs. ******, I Have Your Paper Work, And The Reason While You've Been Havin Stomach Pains Is Because Your Pregnant".
Both Of Our Eyes Popped Wide Open.
She Covers Her Mouth With Her Hands As Tears Start To Fall.
Knowin What Was About To Come Next..
I Said "What The Fuck?Pregnant?"
I Had This Reaction Because When We 1st Got Together My Girl Said She Wanted
To Wait Til We Got Married To Have Sex.
So For The Whole 2 Years.
That's How It Was.
I Didn't Have Sex With N E One Til This Girl From The Movies.
She Said "Baby I'm Sorry".
And She Tried To Hug Me.
I Said "No Bitch Get Off Me, What The Fuck.So How Long Has This Been Goin On?How Long You Been Fuckin This Other Dude?"
As She Cried, She Said "A Year"
I Said "You Been Fuckin Some Dude For A Whole Year,And He Got You Pregnant? And We Have Never Fucked Once".
I Mean The Day @ The Movies Got The Best Of Me.
And I Didn't Plan On Doin Her Wrong Again.
But I Never Imagined All This.
Right Then The Other Started To Speak.
She Said "I Told U Boo. I Knew This The Whole Time".
Cause Dude She Was Cheatin Wit The Whole Time Was Mine..
Slowly The Pieces Of The Puzzle Started To Come Together..
So Time Went On & Me And The Other Girl Made A Relationship Outta What We Had.
She Is On The New Season Of Top Model.
And Is In The Top 4 ;).
My Ex And The Other Guy Tried To Make It Work.
But It Just Wouldn't.
And When He Saw MY NEW Girl On TV He Couldn't
Believe It Was Her.
His Thoughts Were In A Blur.
All This Goes To Show.
Nobodies Perfect.
:-D.
She Is On The New Season Of Top Model.
And Is In The Top 4 ;).
My Ex And The Other Guy Tried To Make It Work.
But It Just Wouldn't.
And When He Saw MY NEW Girl On TV He Couldn't
Believe It Was Her.
His Thoughts Were In A Blur.
All This Goes To Show.
Nobodies Perfect.
:-D.
Factional Part 1
So There I Was Walking Towards The Door Knowing It Would Be All Bad If I Stayed
To Be Continued...
But For Some Reason My Movement And Body Motions Were Slowly Delayed
I Knew That Wasn't The Place That I Should Be
But She Was Layin There Lookin So Dam Sexy
She Said "You Don't Have To Leave, You Can Stay Stay All Night"
And Against This Temptation Every Moral In Me Tried To Fight
But They Were Just No Match
It Seemed As If I Drank A Love Potion Or Better Yet The Whole Batch
At That Moment I Came To My Senses And Made My Way To The Door
Then She Stood Up And Yelled "Wait!" As Her Towel Fell To The Floor
She Said "Your Just Gonna Leave,Without Even A Hug"
I Knew If I Didn't Then She'd Just Bug
So As I Moved In She Gave Me A Kiss
Not Only That, She Bit My Lip
Knowing That Turns Me On, She Said "Won't You Stay"
She Stood There Naked And I Couldn't Turn Away
I Tried Once More To Head To The Door Way
So She Pushed Me Against The Wall And Put Her Hand In My Draws
I Said "What Are You Doin", She Said "Havin A Ball ;)
Or 2, If That's Alright With You" But I Had No Clue What To Say
Cuz She Was Doin It The Right Way It Was Actually Very Relieving To My Long Stressful Day
She Said "Do You Want This Baby" I Thought Lord Knows I Do
She Said " I Know You Want This Baby, That Makes 2"
She Walked Me Across The Room, I Stepped Over Her Skirt
Then She Layed Me Down, And Took Off My Shirt
Her Hands Were All Over My Body As They Softly Caressed
She Started To Kiss Me All Over My Chest
On Up To My Neck And Back To My Lips
As She Grinded On Me While Having Me Wrap My Hands Around Her Curvacious Hips
Things Sped Up And I'm Sure You Get The Picture
There Was Enough Sweat Worked Up To Fill A Field Of Kool-Aid Pitchers
She Said "You Know, It Doubles Also As A Form Of Streching,When My Legs Are Behind My Head"
She Said "Had We Gone One More Round Like That, You Woulda Put Me To Bed"
I Thought In My Head
"It'll Catch Up To Her, 1...2...3..." I Turned There She Was Knocked Out On The Bed
I Leaned Over And Gave Her A Kiss On The Forehead
I Said "I'll Be Right Back", I Was Heading Out For A Late Night Snack
I Worked Up And Appetite And As I Got To The Door
She Said "Hurry On Back, That Was Only A Sample Of What's To Cum, & What's In Store"
I Just Shook My Head
And Thought "If I Die Tonight, She'll Be The Reason I'm Dead"
I Got To The Drive Thru... And Couldn't Concentrate On The Menu
So I Rushed Back Home. The Rest Is
To Be Continued...
Part 3
The bombs been detonated
I'm just waiting for the explosion
I was at second base and it was time for me to close in on third
With blurred vision and...
precisley placed slurred words, we started kissin'
Man listen,
it was like a scene from a very bad B movie with a very low budget
Well fuck it I admit I was drunk and I loved it,
every last second
I couldn't kill the thought of us butt-ass naked.
with the fan on, chattin about the session and
Slowly getting into some closet skeleton confessions,
thats when
She made an offer I couldn't refuse,
and chills went up and down my legs like samoan tattoos
She said she had a pad that wasn't too far away,
She said she'd love it if I'd stay till the following day
So it was time to exit stage left
I made my rounds, gave my pounds and hugs gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath
And now we're stepping to the door but right before we step Junior bought me one more
And now I'm feelin' it,
I had my hand in my pocket but she's stealing it
With our hands interlocking as we're walking down exchange street
With our hearts pitter-pattin' to the same beat,
and then she popped the question like,
"Sam, you ever been in love?"
I'm like "Psh...Not that I recall!
Well there was one situation, but I didn't have the patience
Or the balls to say it, and every time I tried I just diligently delayed it."
And it sounds something like [stuttering]
Man, my speech impediment left my heart vacant without a single resident
The first tenant got evicted the second she settled in,
I seen her the other day riding my bike and kept pedalin'
If it wasn't for meddlin' kids would love even exist? (Nope)
If it wasn't for alcohol would I be sayin' this? (Nope)
She probably took offense, I probably started gettin' sober
Cause she started gettin' ugly and I think I probably told her
I'm just waiting for the explosion
I was at second base and it was time for me to close in on third
With blurred vision and...
precisley placed slurred words, we started kissin'
Man listen,
it was like a scene from a very bad B movie with a very low budget
Well fuck it I admit I was drunk and I loved it,
every last second
I couldn't kill the thought of us butt-ass naked.
with the fan on, chattin about the session and
Slowly getting into some closet skeleton confessions,
thats when
She made an offer I couldn't refuse,
and chills went up and down my legs like samoan tattoos
She said she had a pad that wasn't too far away,
She said she'd love it if I'd stay till the following day
So it was time to exit stage left
I made my rounds, gave my pounds and hugs gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath
And now we're stepping to the door but right before we step Junior bought me one more
And now I'm feelin' it,
I had my hand in my pocket but she's stealing it
With our hands interlocking as we're walking down exchange street
With our hearts pitter-pattin' to the same beat,
and then she popped the question like,
"Sam, you ever been in love?"
I'm like "Psh...Not that I recall!
Well there was one situation, but I didn't have the patience
Or the balls to say it, and every time I tried I just diligently delayed it."
And it sounds something like [stuttering]
Man, my speech impediment left my heart vacant without a single resident
The first tenant got evicted the second she settled in,
I seen her the other day riding my bike and kept pedalin'
If it wasn't for meddlin' kids would love even exist? (Nope)
If it wasn't for alcohol would I be sayin' this? (Nope)
She probably took offense, I probably started gettin' sober
Cause she started gettin' ugly and I think I probably told her
Part 2
Ok, continued
What's next upon the menu?
Hmm, maybe I should crack a joke
Attack and ask her if she smokes
Cause I can't seem to find my matches
And that could break the ice but
I'm a bad actress with three lighters I acquired the previous night
And there I was do or die
She was approximately five feet away from my frame
So I decided to take a stride, swallow my pride, tellin' her my name like
Hello miss, my name is Sam
Just a ordinary cat, I'm into art and fuzzy rabbits, kinda smart with a big heart, you can have it
See you find that funny
I'd love to buy you a drink but I got bent and spent my money
But would you kindly accept a raincheck
Perhaps some deep chit chat
She didn't think twice, nodded her head and said "I'm with that"
By the way do you have some matches?
She's like, "no, but there's a lighter right in front of you"
And now we both giggling
This girl's so crazy, got my gullet jiggling
Fiddling with my feelings like an out of tune piano
Like I'm on ritalin
The way she's got my undivided attention dismissin' any thoughts of lettin' this one get away
"no, but there's a lighter right in front of you"
And now we both giggling
This girl's so crazy,
got my gullet jiggling
Fiddling with my feelings like an out of tune piano
Like I'm on ritalin
The way she's got my undivided attention dismissin' any thoughts
of lettin' this one get away
What's next upon the menu?
Hmm, maybe I should crack a joke
Attack and ask her if she smokes
Cause I can't seem to find my matches
And that could break the ice but
I'm a bad actress with three lighters I acquired the previous night
And there I was do or die
She was approximately five feet away from my frame
So I decided to take a stride, swallow my pride, tellin' her my name like
Hello miss, my name is Sam
Just a ordinary cat, I'm into art and fuzzy rabbits, kinda smart with a big heart, you can have it
See you find that funny
I'd love to buy you a drink but I got bent and spent my money
But would you kindly accept a raincheck
Perhaps some deep chit chat
She didn't think twice, nodded her head and said "I'm with that"
By the way do you have some matches?
She's like, "no, but there's a lighter right in front of you"
And now we both giggling
This girl's so crazy, got my gullet jiggling
Fiddling with my feelings like an out of tune piano
Like I'm on ritalin
The way she's got my undivided attention dismissin' any thoughts of lettin' this one get away
"no, but there's a lighter right in front of you"
And now we both giggling
This girl's so crazy,
got my gullet jiggling
Fiddling with my feelings like an out of tune piano
Like I'm on ritalin
The way she's got my undivided attention dismissin' any thoughts
of lettin' this one get away
Part 1
From the second she shimmied in
I was intrigued by her essence
And my first instincts to make sure that my presence was felt
Simple and plain
I'm probably jumping the train
But all I could see was my name engraved on her belt
Hit the pause button
Damn!
I don't even know this girl
And I'm already practicing my sweet-nothins
But that's a classic trait of a soft-spoken, heart-broken, fellow like my self best believe
I tend to wear my heart on
my sleeve
But that night the Henny had my sleeves rolled up
Wait a minute, hold up
I think she caught me grillin' now I'm spillin' my drink
I knew our feelings were in sync so now she gave me the wink
The only problem is, I'm not your ordinary, average Romeo
A Cyrano de Bergerac
In fact, I remember back in fifth grade
I tried to read the book of love, but sadly
The introduction didn't grab me
So I left it on the shelf and kept moving
Assuming that this planet rotates
I'll just procrastinate until the day I bump into my soulmate
Who would've thunk I would be pissy ass drunk when time came for collision
So I made the decision to just keep my composure
Until she started getting closer
And then I felt this weird feeling underneath my left shoulder, and then I
Slipped, tripped, busted my lip and fell in love
The minute that she stepped in the door
The type of girl I'd have to make a couple mix tapes for
To me she equaled MC squared and everything else was mathematics
I never took the time to practice
I was intrigued by her essence
And my first instincts to make sure that my presence was felt
Simple and plain
I'm probably jumping the train
But all I could see was my name engraved on her belt
Hit the pause button
Damn!
I don't even know this girl
And I'm already practicing my sweet-nothins
But that's a classic trait of a soft-spoken, heart-broken, fellow like my self best believe
I tend to wear my heart on
my sleeve But that night the Henny had my sleeves rolled up
Wait a minute, hold up
I think she caught me grillin' now I'm spillin' my drink
I knew our feelings were in sync so now she gave me the wink
The only problem is, I'm not your ordinary, average Romeo
A Cyrano de Bergerac
In fact, I remember back in fifth grade
I tried to read the book of love, but sadly
The introduction didn't grab me
So I left it on the shelf and kept moving
Assuming that this planet rotates
I'll just procrastinate until the day I bump into my soulmate
Who would've thunk I would be pissy ass drunk when time came for collision
So I made the decision to just keep my composure
Until she started getting closer
And then I felt this weird feeling underneath my left shoulder, and then I
Slipped, tripped, busted my lip and fell in love
The minute that she stepped in the door
The type of girl I'd have to make a couple mix tapes for
To me she equaled MC squared and everything else was mathematics
I never took the time to practice
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